Stan: Is Oliver Perez’s weight symbolic of his attitude after signing a fat three-year, $36 million contract? Will John Maine be the pitcher we remember from before his shoulder injury last year? Is this the year Mike Pelfrey matures?
STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS JULIA STILES
me: where is this
Stan: the damn wall street journal
Julia Stiles is an actress and a Mets fan living in New York. She blogs at www.juliastilesblog.com
me: oh good
Stan: she’ll be like your alyssa milano
me: SHE IS NOT HAVING SEX WITH BOBBY PARNELL ON MY WATCH
Stan: i don’t think bobby parnell is her stile
It’s gonna take a while before I stop calling it “Shea,” which I did at least three times today. But thanks to the graciousness of Coop, I got to go to my first game at Citi Field, and thankfully, see the first ever Mets win at the new ballpark. A solid outing from Oliver Perez who, despite Coop’s and my repeated shouts of “Don’t do it Ollie!” decided to show off his good side tonight. Which basically means he’ll be terrible next time out. And that wacky inning where Castillo and Reyes scored on wild pitches and errors was pretty thrilling even if I could not believe what exactly had happened.
And I got to experience my first home run by a Met in Citi Field as well, when Carlos Delgado went yard. I say “experience” and not “see,” because it was at this exact moment some Eurotrash young’uns decided they needed to leave the ballpark, blocking our view. Coop and I were able to laugh it off by being xenophobic and making jokes at their expense in some kind of Slavic accent. “Vy do zey call eet a humron? Vat eef I vanto valk hum?” You had to be there, I guess. Always a good un-PC time with the Coop.
It’s gonna take some time before this place feels like home. It’s lovely and sometimes breathtaking, but it feels so sterile and pristine that it almost makes me feel bad for being drunk and vulgar, like I’m yelling in a museum. I imagine it’s going to take a few dozen games before I know where everything is, but at least I know that Shake Shack (line was too long, boo) and Box Frites (yum!) are right next to each other.
The view from Coop’s seats in the Promenade. I don’t remember ever feeling so ON TOP of the field at Shea; here it felt like almost a completely vertical downward view whereas Shea’s views seemed a bit more expansive and theatrical. I kept feeling like I was missing some of the action, and constantly had to reorient where the scoreboards were. I don’t think I will master this until I’ve been here a few times.
I bought a Daniel Murphy shirt in medium because that was the smallest size they had THANKS A LOT YOU GUYS, which prompted a new meme (see: MARLON I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!, haha THAT’S a little out of date now, eh?) whenever he came up to bat: “C’mon Murph! I’m wearing your shirt!”
Takin’ care of business. How I’ve missed hearing that (you know what I didn’t miss though? SWEET FUCKING CAROLINE, which everyone booed, with good reason).
I was, let’s say, not exactly 100% enthused with Livan Hernandez being another one of Omar Minaya’s old timer reclamation projects, winning the fifth starting spot basically by default, and highlighting the thought, “So we fixed the bullpen…but, uh, the rotation? SHEESH.”
Not that I think he’ll consistently give us 6.2 innings of 2-run ball, but if he does anything even close to comparable in the majority of his starts then I think I’ll be pretty happy to see him get the ball every fifth game. 1st and 3rd with no outs? No problem, says Livan, helped by the Mets defense (including a highlight reel inning-ending unassisted double play by David Wright). It was a nice to see a real professional on the mound last night; in the same circumstances, you can look at certain other pitchers in our rotation *ahem Ollie ahem* and envision a scenario wherein they, instead of barreling down and getting the out, spontaneously burst into flames instead.
Remember how we were all “ZOMG we have a real bullpen now!”? Haha, OOPS. But at least the Mets were hitting last night, the charge led by…Luis Castillo? Zuh?! Luis Castillo, armed with a pre-game talk with Jerry Manuel and the possible realization of “ho shit the home opener is soon, please don’t boo me,” got four hits and scored the first two runs of the game, the second on Jose Reyes’ first homer of the season. Pretty good start to the campaign, Luis. Hey Jerry, maybe talk to David Wright now?
Another hitter campaigning very loudly is Ryan Church, hitting two doubles last night and currently batting .526. You think he wants to be sat in favor of Sheffield on Wednesday, as is the plan? No, he does not. And considering that’s the game I’ll be attending (thanks, Coop!), I don’t want to see that happen either. Please don’t let that happen. I want to cheer on Church, thanks.
1. The Amanda Bynes/LOTR answers = HOLY FUCK, I forget how young he is.
2. What a cocky sonuvabitch.
3. He clearly comes from the Andre Bazin school of film criticism.
4. I need to make him a mixtape.