: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
: Nice job, Ollie. I’d give your performance a thumbs up, except it’s all infected!
: EWWWWWWWWW GROSS! LA LA LA LA LA LA
/hits RBI single
LOOKIT I’M BETTER THAN DELGADO!!
: Still not as good as me.
: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH 😥
/throws eleven balls in a row
: /takes out calculator, burps silver dollars, eats baby kitten
: /hits towering shot off the wall, waddles to first, is out of breath
: NOW WAIT A GODDAMNED SECOND
: Hey!… Guys?…You gonna help me out here? I thought I was joining a winning team.
: Waaaaaiiiiiitttt…………………what did you say about me, Ollie?
/67 mph fastball for called third strike
: OMG you’re even slow to react to words?
/sighs, doubles, steals third, steals home
: Always nice to scratch out a run. That’s some good teamwork.
: What the–
: /hits batter in the head, throws wild pitch, walks five batters
: Welp, there’s another lousy start. Let’s get my guy in here.
: Oh, NO.
/gives up grand slam, pouts
: Hey! That’s my job!
: Oh don’t worry. You’ll get your chance.
: /skips under Delgado’s glove
: /rolls past Delgado
: See? Two runs just scored. Your ERA is still higher than Heilman’s.
: BUT I WANTED IT TO GO OUT OF THE STADIUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
: Can’t win ’em all.
: I’LL SAY!
: Did you say something, Churchie?
/dives for groundball, realizes he is asleep in bed
Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a viking!
[With all apologies to The Dugout.]