bizarro mets play, win bizarro game

August 13, 2008

On a night when Johan Santana didn’t perform up to his capabilities (though, truth be told, even mediocre Santana is boneriffic), giving up two leads–including a game-tying homer to…pinch-hitting Ryan Langerhans?!–the offense miraculously plated the go-ahead run by…getting hit in the head? How poetic. With the bases loaded, Jerry Manuel made the genius move of pinch-hitting Castro for Daniel Murphy aka Jesus and…he struck out? WHAT! Jesus Murphy was supposed to hit an eight-run homer! Desperate for more runs–because, as Howie Rose put it last night, “With this bullpen, a one-run lead is as skinny as you can get”–Santana is pulled for…Brian Schneider?! Who strikes out. Which isn’t bizarre so much as comically tragically predictable. But with a 4-3 lead, Santana was in the position of winning the game. We’ve heard that one before.

And then the bullpen…didn’t blow it?

Not sure if it was the bullpen meeting before the game–led by Scott Schoeneweis, of all people–or Jerry’s ludicrous notion that Maine or Perez would be moved to the pen, or if it’s just that the Nationals are terrible, but somehow Joe Smith and Pedro Feliciano (not, I repeat NOT Eddie Kunz, despite Manuel’s blather about how Kunz would get the first closing opportunity…WTF I say, but considering Feliciano got it done I’m not about to argue…too much. Maybe a little, as a matter of principle, of sticking to your word and all that) managed to…throw strikes? And get batters out?

Bizarre. But I’ll take it.

In other bizarre news, Boston scored TEN FUCKING RUNS in the first inning and STILL needed to rally against Texas to win 19-17. I wonder if Massholes got drunk last night (ex-boyfriend’s text last night “OMG WTF IS HAPPPENIG” confirms suspicions).

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the mets are the worldwide leader in disappointing wins

August 7, 2008

How many disappointing wins have the Mets had this year? 6? 12? It feels like every time Santana has a no decision it’s a disappointing win, because Santana almost always pitches a seven-inning, two-run game and the offense is underwhelming and the bullpen blows it. Oh it happened again today? WHADDAYAKNOW.

Thank God for David Wright, coming up with the walk-off homer. Thank God Jerry didn’t sit him after yesterday’s boners (not the good kind). And thank God the Mets were able to fend off the AAA Padres. With a bunch of young kids from AA Binghamton (on Sesame Street Day at Shea, no less!) providing many of the non-Santana pre-ninth inning highlights.

Have I said enough that I’m in love with Daniel Murphy? I’m in love with him. There, I said it. Feels good.

Now Duaner and Scott, you owe Johan a steak.

Oh, there’s also this:

For some reason, American Idol winner David Cook and one of the losers Carly Smithson were in attendance. I don’t know why, but I hope neither sang the national anthem. It would’ve been way yowly.


another big PHEW in philly

July 7, 2008

Only the Mets can turn a 10-1 laugher into EXTREME AGITA NAILBITING BOTTOM OF THE NINTH GAME-WINNING RUN AT THE PLATE. What in the hell, Armas/Heilman/Wagner?! This team, I swear, is trying to kill me. I almost died last night. Didn’t realize my Great Mets Offense-induced coma almost turned life-threatening.

And then Goddam Jayson Werth comes up to face Billy Wagner as the game-winning run. A day after he hit the game-tying run in the bottom of the ninth. Of course, of course. I expected the worst, because you know the old saying about history repeating itself. I would like my new saying of “Billy Wagner should never pitch against the Phillies” to become as firmly entrenched.

But thankfully, that didn’t happen. Thankfully, Werth flied to right. Thankfully, the Mets held on for a 10-9 victory, move a game above .500, win the series, and pull to within 2.5 behind the Phils.

Phew. Thank fucking God.


a big PHEW in philly

July 6, 2008

A phenomenal game by the Mets in Philly tonight that could have turned like so many bust-ups have over the past thirteen months or so. A solo Beltran home run and–oddly–a second consecutive gem by Oliver Perez saw the Mets with a 1-0 lead in the bottom of the eighth inning. Duaner Sanchez would get the first out and allow the next two batters on base, bringing up Pedro Feliciano to face lefty Ryan Howard.

And then the rains came (what is this, Wimbledon?…More on that tomorrow, likely, not that you care all that much!).

That incessant downpour and interminable delay served to make me hope that somehow it would continue long into the night, calling the game in the Mets’ favor. Forgive the pessimism, but we have surely witnessed too many bullpen meltdowns in Philly to have much faith in Feliciano (who has been struggling for what seems like all season) against Howard. And we all had hours and hours to fret over that match-up.

And then Howard strikes out.

And then it looks pretty good as the Mets sratch out another run in the top of the ninth, leading the way for Billy Wagner. Our closer. Our All-Star. It’s the bottom of the Phillies’ order, and he’s supposed to mow them down, right? Game over, no?

NO. Not for Wags against Philly. How many games has he blown against Philly in the last year? There goes a game-tying two run bomb, the miraculous Phillies having been down to their last strike. Of course. Dejafuckingvu. We almost need a moratorium against a crucial appearance for Billy Wagner against the Phillies. Maybe we can give that spot to Joe Smith against Philly.

But first things first: a big fucking thank you to Fernando Tatis, tonight’s game-winning hero, answering Jayson Werth’s two-run bomb with a two-run bomb of his own, putting the Mets up 4-2 in the twelfth. This would allow Smith, who had pitched an inning and a third, to end the top of the twelfth with one of the most lousy at-bats known to mankind (he at least fouled off a pitch?) and pitch the bottom of the frame.

And boy, did Smith MAN UP. In his two and a third, with Tony Armas the only available option in the bullpen, Smith had to face big lefties in Chase Utley and Howard, along with switch-hitter Jimmy Rollins. Smith + lefties = trouble. But holy God, was it a true grit performance, allowing one hit in his appearance (to Rollins), and deservedly earning the win tonight. I think we saw a young man grow up tonight.

Of course, due to his age, he has to carry that Hello Kitty backpack to the bullpen. “Hello Smitty” indeed. Maybe Smitty can lend it to Wagner for a while. That’d be some poetic justice.


lol@this game

June 11, 2008

I mean really. Pelfrey pitches a gem? Wags blows it by giving up a 3-run homer? Beltran hits a walk-off homer in the 13th?

Sure, okay.

Man I feel drunk.


frankly, i am stunned.

May 13, 2008

Today has been a frenzy of Joe Smith v. Jorge Sosa debate in Mets land, with the overwhelming consensus from bloggers and beat writers being that young Smith’s sparkling performance deserved a place on the team while Sosa and his $2 million ineffective slider special should be cut. The presumed reality–even amongst Smith and his teammates–saw the Mets keeping Sosa and his contract in favor of Smith and his options, so as not to risk losing Sosa. This sparked lots of upset and angry opinions from Mets fans.

And to be sure, I was all set to join the fracas and portray my disgust and confusion and bile. As soon as it happened. And is it turned out, it didn’t. Glad to not add to that shitstorm.

But I’m shocked and overjoyed to see that the Mets made the right decision, that they favored performance¬† above money, solid youth over ruined experience, results over the hypothetical. For once, at least, we can’t complain about a front office decision.


this game was just

April 10, 2008

We needed this. We really needed this. After breaking the nine-game skid to the Phillies, the Mets really needed to step it up, to not lose in yet another heartbreaking fashion in extra innings (fucking deja vu this was, AGAIN, wasn’t it), to win the game and take the series. And take the series they did.

I am too exhausted to really talk at length about it, but gold stars to:

  • John Maine for a good, if not great, outing. He was much better tonight than he was in Atlanta, and seemed to really get going in the middle of the game; a shame he gave up a homer and double to start the seventh before getting pulled.
  • Pedro Feliciano, after issuing a walk, getting three consecutive strike outs to end the seventh
  • Ryan Church, who I am liking more and more, for his two-out, two-run single to get the Mets on the board in the 4th
  • Billy Wagner, looking absolutely dominant. Hopefully we can get this guy a save some day
  • Joe Smith for a solid tenth inning and, despite allowing two baserunners in the eleventh on some bad luck and shaky defense (that punk bitch Cole Hamels hit a sac bunt as a pinch hitter and Schneider couldn’t field it, GUH), barreling down to get Fave Phillie Eric “Error” Bruntlett, who couldn’t get the bunt down to save his life, setting up:
  • Scott Schoeneweis, who gets a tremendous double play to end the inning. As he entered the game I thought, “Well here goes this game.” I’m sure I’m not the only one who was feeling cynical (much of this was, well, historical, but also residual anger for the offense yet again not being able to plate runners in scoring position). Well thank you for proving me wrong, Show. I promise to not bitch about you for the next two weeks. And I hope you’ve earned some goodwill from the fans at Shea. I hope you can build on this and turn those boos into cheers.
  • Jorge Sosa, as efficient I’ve ever seen him, throwing exactly one pitch to get the win
  • Jose Reyes and Angel Pagan’s two-out, bottom of the twelfth heroics: Reyes double, and Pagan (who has by far been the most productive hitter so far…can we keep him at the #2 spot forever?) with a single up the middle to score a speeding Reyes; no other player would have scored on that hit

BIG FAT FUCKING TURD SANDWICH: Aaron Heilman. How many fucking runs are you going to give up in consecutive eight innings, Heilman? I was pretty high on you last week; way to waste all that goodwill quickly. I do not want to see you in the eighth inning of a close game in a very long time. Duaner can’t come back soon enough. Or failing that, a Smith/Feliciano platoon, as they are the only two relievers in this bullpen (aside from Wagner) who don’t make my heart thump irregularly in my chest.

For more Heilman vitriol (with an extra dollop reserved for Big Situation Automatic Strikeout Leader Carlos Beltran), see Coop.