So not to get too personal or anything, but a few weeks ago I started dating a Red Sox fan. As we started dating, both the Sox and the Mets seemed to be in some trouble, being swept by their closest competitors (the Yanks and Phils, respectively). As we kept dating, both of our teams then seemed to pick it up and start playing better, and everything seemed to be going swell.
Then some crap happened and we stopped seeing each other. This coincided with some abominable play by both teams which saw their respective division leads dwindle to astonishingly similar numbers. In the midst of this, I got the following text a few days ago after yet another frustrating loss by both: “My team lost. Your team lost. Can we put aside our differences and have sex again for the sake of our playoff chances?”
Which, in spite of me not talking to him, I thought was really funny.
Well, after last night’s ridiculously awful loss by the Mets, I called him up to drunkenly whine. He had been watching as well. Long story short, I went over.
Both of our teams have been in first for almost the entire season. Both of our teams held comfortable leads. Both of our teams are full of talented players who have been playing absolute dogshit. Both of our teams have a magic number of 9 and a flimsy 1.5 lead, hoping to fend off two talented, hungry teams that don’t seem to be able to lose.
The similarities are eerie, no? I propose to all Mets and Red Sox fans: Find each other and fuck. At least for the next week. For the sake of our playoff chances, please dear God.
So: The MetSox Desperation Pact. Motto: Let’s fuck so our teams don’t suck.