it would be, it would be so nice

October 9, 2009

Seriously I hope the music person at Dodger Stadium was on the ball (ahem) last night. Or at least played “Loretta” by the Nervous Eaters. Or, in honor of the game-winning hit, “Fist City” by Loretta Lynn. And I know I broke up with the Dodgers a decade ago, but this was just an amazing end to a game I wasn’t paying attention to at all until I saw the score in the eighth inning at the gym.

Ho hum series tied WAIT WHAAAAAAAATholliday

Since about June or so I’ve forgotten how wonderful baseball can be. Amazing how that realization is easy to come by when you’re watching two good teams battling it out.

Despite my defection (you can’t spell it without “defect”) to the Mets, as a native Los Angeleno I am hoping for a Freeway Series. In which case I’ll be rooting for the Angels, because I haven’t forgiven the Dodgers that much.

Otherwise, let’s go Twins and Rockies.

ETA: I didn’t hear this, but apparently Vin Scully said, “Matt Holliday is the loneliest man in all of Los Angeles as 51000 echo to the sky.” I miss that man.


wait. seriously?

May 1, 2008

This isn’t a joke?

OH MY GOD. It’s like “Meet The Mets” getting fucked by Billy Joel on a bed of synthesizers.

I’ve listened to it like a dozen times already, at least. My favorite part is “We’ll go nuts for every curly W.” I kind of like that line, in the “it makes me think of pubes” kind of way.

On the Kinsey scale from Paul Newman to Liberace, I give this a Rufus Wainwright.

Hat tip to Why I Hate DC, and an excellent lyrical parsing is here.


and i thought i was obsessed.

March 14, 2008

Joe Smith is God.

It is written.


WHAT THE SHIT

March 7, 2008

Please for you to click on this link.

Great quote by Terry Francona re: the pride of Woodland, CA:

“I haven’t had a heart attack, I think I’ve come close,” Francona said. “My chest hurt I was laughing so hard. I got a headache I was laughing so hard. Pedroia is a moron. I mean, you can write that. Pedroia is a moron. He looked a puppet on a string.”

Also: WTF IS THAT SHIRT PAPS.

God bless the Sox.


AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAAHAHHA

February 4, 2008

Congrats Eli Manning for leading the New York Giants to an unprecedented win over the New England Patriots, thereby preventing a sweep for Boston sports and proving that upending patriarchy can be a worthwhile, noble, and lucrative pursuit.

Good for you, Eli. I hope you never again have to deal with misogynistic putdowns and unfair criticisms just because OMG! FOOTBALL ISN’T YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! (yeah right, you play in New York)


john maine is not only a stud but also secure in his masculinity

December 4, 2007

Hi there, long time no blog. There are many developments to have rejoiced over (I will be glad to never see that bastard Guillermo Mota pitch for my team ever again) as well as lament (see ya Lastings). And rather than talk about all the actual tangible baseball things every baseball nut I know has been hounding me about (I am sick to death of hearing the name Johan), I would like to talk about this.

As opposed to other places where this would create the opportunity for non-clever fag jokes, I would like to say that though I doubt the veracity of this story (um, Page Six? And why is it that I learned about this through straight dude sports guys? Let’s turn the mirror around, fellas), I wholeheartedly hope it is true. For one, I obviously would welcome an era in sports wherein our athletes could feel free to exhibit queerish tendencies, whether it be ridiculously homoerotic fashion shoots or enjoying the feel of fishnets or like, making out and giving each other boners and stuff. Word. I enjoy a transgression of gender roles and sexuality, especially coming from a landscape as notoriously rigid and macho as Sportsdom.

Secondly, I am pretty selfish and find the very idea of one of my favorite Mets (I’d say #3 behind Wright and Smith…do I just like bland white dudes? Let’s take a look at my dating history OH BURN) in a dress to be awesome and delicious. It makes me quite hot and bothered. Also, if this is true, why didn’t the stupid dame take a picture? DUH THAT’S WHY THEY PUT CAMERAS IN PHONES NOW IDIOT. You have a star athlete in a dress and you don’t do shit about documenting it? For shame, lady. Have you learned nothing from our invasive 21st century celebrity culture?!?!?!?!??!

Lastly: “I’m John Maine. I pitch for the Mets! I’m a hot piece of ass!” Yes honey. Yes you certainly damn are. And I want that on a T-shirt, please.


the colorado rockies will eat your babies and spank your momma

October 16, 2007

But they’ll be really nice about it and you’ll be all, “Dawwwwww, you’re all right.”

Look, it’s already snowing in Denver! That’s not baseball weather!

Oh.

Congratulations to the Colorado Rockies, who continue rolling along, winning their 20th of 21 games. Ho-hum. TWENTY OF TWENTY ONE. Two weeks left in the regular season, in FOURTH for the WILD CARD, and now they’re in the World Series. A miracle win tiebreaker. They killed the Phillies in three, and did the same to the Diamondbacks in four. I am convinced that they will never lose another game.

You do not mess with the Chosen Ones.

Just about the only thing that could cool off the Rockies right now is the fact that they’ll have to wait another eight days before the World Series starts; this could also help them, as Cleveland and Boston seem like they’ll battle to the absolute death in the ALCS. Last night I watched the Tribe-Sox game with Red Sox fan Business or Leisure?; when Kenny Lofton blasted a 2-run shot off Dice-K, it felt like the tone of the night was set. The scary-ass Boston lineup would start making what seemed to be rallies, up until a freak out (Manny’s grounder hitting Papi) or an inning-ending double play (of which there were like seven thousand). Indians lead the series 2-1. After the swagger displayed against Anaheim, the Sox look a bit skittish, and all the nervous confessions made by many a Sox fan (every starter save Beckett, the bottom of the lineup, lack of bullpen options) look–if not to be coming true–at least valid. And about these Indians! It seems like, top to bottom, someone is coming up with a big hit, a walk, a sacrifice, a splendid display of defense to squash a rally. This is going to be a dogfight.

Meanwhile, the Rockies will be waiting. Big Stud Matt Holliday. Clutch Kaz Matsui. Troy Tulowitzki, for whom I have no nickname but my goodness does he come up with like five defensive gems a night or what?!

Godspeed, ALCS champ, whoever you may be.