no closer? *cues up yakety sax*

Oh, Heilman. Heilman, buddy. I wonder if you’re being trotted out there to no doubt fail as penance for some assorted undisclosed crimes against humanity that are only privy to the Mets front office and coaching staff. NO ONE wants to see you in a close situation anymore, and walking the lead-off batter on four pitches certainly won’t help your cause with the fans. A three-run homer to a man named Jody sucks too, but that kind of thing has come to be part and parcel to a Heilman appearance.

Certainly Heilman should have had a better fate had Argenis Reyes actually tried for that bloop single, and then later turned a coulda-woulda-shoulda double play, but a batter later we saw a four-run belt-loosening fresh-glass-of-water-ahhhh lead turn into a rocking-in-the-fetal-position one-run nailbiter. Thankfully Joe Smith and Scott Schoeneweis got the final two outs, Show earning the save and saying, “Me getting a save is about as much of a highlight as I ate the 1,000th cheesesteak served in the away clubhouse in Philadelphia this year. That’s about what it’s like. Right guy in the right place. Lucky.” That’s pretty good, Schoeny, especially considering your post-game interview with Ed Coleman was about the most incoherent, mumbled, pause-filled atrocity I’ve heard from an athlete in quite some time.

Not that it matters, but I also got a nice mild vindication for my previous post, where I stated that I was excited to see what these young kids could do for the team. Not that I think they’re the answer, certainly–way too early for that–but as a fan I can’t help but be sucked in by young blood. Daniel Murphy not only continued his Endy impersonation but also rapped a double for his first Major League RBI. He also worked two walks, which is probably even more impressive. Previous to that, Argenis Reyes had also worked a walk to get the rally started. Nick “I only get a hit every coupla weeks” Evans also hit a double, and two errors allowed Beltran to score what turned out to be the pivotal run. Now, if only we’d seen Eddie Kunz in the ninth, then the rooks would’ve been all accounted for (I’m not counting Carlos Muniz, because boy has he been lousy lately). It would have been nice for Kunz to make his first appearance at Shea, especially afforded a four-run lead; if he got in trouble then give him the quick hook. He certainly couldn’t have done worse than Heilman.

Lost amid the Benny Hill bullpen was a nice performance by Mike Pelfrey, who worked 6 2/3 for his team-leading 10th win, as well as a perfect 1 1/3 by Pedro Feliciano, probably the best I’ve seen him all season. Pelf and Pedro deserve kudos for theoretically giving the bullpen some rest, before Heilman went up there and gave a man named Jody a marshmallow while singing “Kumbaya.”

Oh, and there’s this:

CAN YOU HEAR THE MUTHAFUCKIN DRUMS?!?!?!??!?!?!!!!

Where the hell would the Mets be without Fernando Tatis? That’s not rhetorical, either; Howie Rose asked the same question last night, and if you think to the troubles the Mets have had both in the outfield and with their offense (the first, oh, five innings last night were downright anorexic), Fernando continues to show us his Tatis, hitting game-changing homers or coming up with clutch RBIs exactly when the Mets need them most. I am unable to recall how many times this season Tatis has been the hero of the game, because every few days or so it seems he’s the one–not Beltran, not Reyes, not Wright; sometimes Delgado–who’s making the big play.

I hope the man never stops drinking his Gatorade.

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2 Responses to no closer? *cues up yakety sax*

  1. Ben K says:

    The Mets would be 5 out if it wasnt for tatis…..but really how much longer can he do this?

  2. billyfabs says:

    tatis was supposed to stop doing this like three weeks ago. thankfully, he didn’t get the memo.

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