To get away from the Mets for a moment (I’ll say this: good win last night, the maturation of Pelfrey is a beautiful thing to behold, only 3.5 back from the struggling Phillies, three series wins in a row…we Mets fans should welcome Jerry and the boys with much love tonight at Shea. Turn the page, etc. This feels like a new team, if only because that dour cloud known as Willie Randolph is gone. Also? I LOVE that now the starting pitchers stay on the mound to give the ball to the reliever. Shows solidarity), Wimbledon starts today!

To those of you who read this blog and skip the very infrequent tennis posts, let me say that baseball and tennis have been the two sports I’ve followed as close to religiously as possible my entire life. There was basketball until I couldn’t stand to watch my hometown Lakers (way to get blownout by BOSTON OF ALL TEAMS, OH MAH GAWD I LOST SO MANY BETS TO MASSHOLES THIS YEAR) in the mid-90s or so. But baseball and tennis are the twin pillars. I like to rationalize it as such: both involve incredible focus and strategy (hit this tiny ball coming at you at 100mph but you have to hit it in this finite space, now go!), both can be mentally draining, and both to me are incredibly aesthetically pleasing.

Stan set up a Wimbledon suicide pool with some of our friends, most of whom know fuck-all about tennis. A suicide is pool is kind of like filling out a March Madness bracket, except you pick one player to advance for each round, though you cannot use that player again. Which means you have to look at the HUGE DRAW and pick a valid winner for each match-up, until eventually you predict a winner. Pretty fun. I know no one cares, but here are my picks round by round.

1st rd: Lleyton Hewitt (only time I will ever root for him because he’s a fucking dick) & Venus Williams (she should make it to the finals and maybe win it, but you never know with her)
2nd rd: Mikhail Youzhny & Agnieska Radwanska
3rd rd: Stanislas Wawrinka & Lindsay Davenport (I highly predict to be booted out of both the mens and ladies pools right here)
4th rd: Andy Roddick & Jelena Jankovic
quarterfinals: Roger Federer (yes, I think he’ll lose in the semis) & Ana Ivanovic
semifinals: Novak Djokovic & Maria Sharapova
finals: Rafael Nadal & Serena Williams


Anyway, to celebrate Wimbledon Day 1, my favorite fashions, hilarious or otherwise:

Thankfully, she took off the coat once play started.

And now, goddam fucking gay-ass Roger Federer’s annual elicitation of eye-rolls.

WTF is that cardigan?!?! And your fucking manbag.

IS THAT A FUCKING WHITE BELT?!?!?!? Ugh. You pretentious douchehole.

3 Responses to WIMBLEDON!!!!!

  1. Bill W says:

    My primary contemporary tennis pleasure is looking at James Blake.

  2. billyfabs says:

    james blake can choke on my dick, if he’s tired of choking against some uzbekistanian nobody.


  3. billyfabs says:

    even better (to me): EDUARDO SCHWANK!!!!

    great story about schwank. couple of months ago he wins a small challenger tournament, and then his HOTEL ROOM CATCHES ON FIRE. lost in the fire is: the couple grand he won in the tournament, his laptop, clothes, tennis gear, etc.

    he then manages to go to paris and qualify for the french open, beating a former #1 and getting to the third round, recouping the money lost in the fire.

    now i have stevie nicks’ “rooms on fire” in my head. yay me.

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