oh, hell.

: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
/throws strikeout

: Nice job, Ollie. I’d give your performance a thumbs up, except it’s all infected!

: EWWWWWWWWW GROSS! LA LA LA LA LA LA
/hits RBI single
LOOKIT I’M BETTER THAN DELGADO!!

: Still not as good as me.

: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH 😥
/throws eleven balls in a row

: /takes out calculator, burps silver dollars, eats baby kitten

: /hits towering shot off the wall, waddles to first, is out of breath

: NOW WAIT A GODDAMNED SECOND

: Hey!… Guys?…You gonna help me out here? I thought I was joining a winning team.

: Waaaaaiiiiiitttt…………………what did you say about me, Ollie?
/67 mph fastball for called third strike

: OMG you’re even slow to react to words?
/sighs, doubles, steals third, steals home

: Always nice to scratch out a run. That’s some good teamwork.

: What the–

: /hits batter in the head, throws wild pitch, walks five batters

: Welp, there’s another lousy start. Let’s get my guy in here.

: Oh, NO.
/gives up grand slam, pouts

: Hey! That’s my job!

: Oh don’t worry. You’ll get your chance.

: /skips under Delgado’s glove

: /rolls past Delgado

: See? Two runs just scored. Your ERA is still higher than Heilman’s.

: BUT I WANTED IT TO GO OUT OF THE STADIUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

: Can’t win ’em all.

: I’LL SAY!

: Did you say something, Churchie?
/dives for groundball, realizes he is asleep in bed
Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a viking!

[With all apologies to The Dugout.]

Advertisements

3 Responses to oh, hell.

  1. Tracy says:

    Love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. OMG… YOU HAVE SOMEHOW READ MY MIND…I can’t even tell you how awful it was to be there last night…WATCHING NO ONE IN THE BULLPEN WARM UP…NO ONE…

  3. Julie says:

    that was beautiful. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: