el profesor dice “no más”

According to Adam Rubin of the Daily News, Jose Reyes may not reprise his highly popular and completely hilarious “Profesor Reyes” skit at Shea this season.

Rubin reports the following:

Reyes has balked at filming another season. “I did it two years in a row already,” Reyes said. “But I’ll think about it. I haven’t said no yet.”

John Maine has been enlisted for a recurring “Maine Street USA” scoreboard skit that quizzes fans on U.S. cities.

That sounds impressively dull, though I imagine I’d laugh at just about anything regarding John Maine. This bit of news did lead Stan and I to brainstorm a few possible replacements for Profesor Reyes.

  • Joe Smith could teach a history lesson informing us of other notable Joseph Smiths, like the founder of Mormonism or the basketball player.
  • Inspired by this cute little story, Joe Smith and Mike Pelfrey could have some kind of Siskel and Ebert-esque foodie skit wherein they review Shea’s many concessions options. (My own personal critique? Bubba burgers: thumbs down; sausage and peppers: thumbs up!)
  • The Ramon Castro District, featuring Ramon Castro profiling various American enclaves that have been historical sites of diversity. I would looooooove to see a segment of Castro in the Castro during the Pride Parade. (Cue that Simpsons episode where they go to Cuba: “It’s full of WHAT?!”)
  • Scott Schoeneweis demonstrating the Heimlich Maneuver
  • Pedro Martinez’s Cockfighting Tips (this was not my idea; please send all complaints to stan(at)omgtoosoon(dot)com)
  • General health tips from David Wright, titled “Dr. Wright” or alternately “Wright Aid” (the latter option could also enable a possible partnership with Rite Aid, and Shea could put up yet another gaudy and hideous billboard up)
  • Moises Alou exhorting the Fountain of Youth-esque benefits of urine; alternately, videos of him engaging in water sports (the other kind)
  • In an effort to go green, Duaner Sanchez talks about alternate modes of transportation

In sad news, David Wright’s grandmother has passed away. My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.

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One Response to el profesor dice “no más”

  1. Zoe says:

    Oh, that is sad about D-Wright’s grandma.

    Great ideas all, although I did love that Profesor Reyes bit and looked forward to it.

    I’ll take lots of tush shots of Joe Smith to make up for our possibly departed professor.

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