The past few days I realized just how much time I spend worrying about the Mets. How many times I text “Mets Score” to GOOGL. This accounts for about 95% of my text messaging; 2% is generally some kind of back-and-forth with several people regarding the Mets (generally: “Woo davey!” or “I ❤ Joey!” or “WORST SHOW EVER”); 1.8% descriptions from friends of their current inanity (“LOL [awful band] playing at [hipster bar jukebox]”); 0.2% drunken lonely texts to boys I shouldn’t be texting while drunk and lonely.
Where were we? Oh yes, the Mets. With the All-Star Break, it seemed like there’d be more time to focus on other aspects of my life, maybe doing some writing (nope) or some reading (Jean Rhys), or maybe just giving up and drinking with friends more (yep). Oh I watched the Home Run Derby as well as part of the All-Star Game while attending Stan and Joe’s trivia night, and while seeing many of the greatest players in the game on one field, the All-Star Game has always been curiously ho-hum to me. Maybe because my allegiance is more towards one team, or perhaps a few scattered players here and there. I know that it matters towards home-field advantage during the WS, but c’mon that’s just a silly rule.
Thinking and worrying about the Mets has become my life lately. Poring over every single detail and stat, who gets sent down (see ya, Franco!) and who gets called up (hello, Lastings! [Ed. note: I did not write “hellloooooooo”) and who gets fired (Rick Goes Down!). Having terrible dreams of watching the Mets blow a game in the late innings or having Joe Smith waived. Wondering what kind of trades could be made, leading to ridiculous conversations like this, in response to this:
me: HAY HOUSTON YOU WANNA PELFREY
TWO AARON PRICE OF ONE
Daniel: AND A BRIDJE AND A USED CAR
me: GREEN AN SCHOENEWEIS! JEW PLATE SPECIAL!
THROW IN NEWHAN TOO? OH YOU NO WANT? OKAY.
Daniel: THEY WILL WANT YOM KIPPUR OFF BUT U WONT BE PLAYING MEANYFUL BATE BAW THEN
me: MISSIS SCHOENEWEIS MAKE GOOD BRISSKIT! YOU GO YUM YUM AND WATCH US PLAYOFF!
Daniel: GREEN WILL NOT LOSE FLY BALL IN SUNS AT ASTRODOME. OH YOU NO PLAY THERE NO MORE? SRY
Yeah. And the total realization of the Mets’ control over my thoughts and life came last night when, instead of grabbing some dinner with Stan and his new roommate Stephen after going to the Patton Oswalt Soundfix in-store, I headed over to Turkey’s Nest to cheer (nice slide, Lastings! Even if Willie didn’t like it!) and groan (how many light taps to second is Shawn Green going to hit during his Met tenure?) and finally cheer again (Joey! Pedro Dos! Wags!) as the Mets beat the Reds last night, 3-2.
So welcome back baseball (and, more specifically, Mets) to once again taking up a significantly large portion of my brain. It’s like you never left. Three days is too much! And thankfully, just as I was complaining that I hadn’t seen the Mets play in so long, I get to go to both games this weekend, partly in thanks to Mets Grrl. I am a perfect 4-0 at Shea. I hope to be 6-0 by the end of the weekend, especially considering I am taking Cute Boy Who Likes Baseball, who is a Reds fan, to the Sunday game. Also, Ollie will thankfully be starting that game, and he’s the only starter I haven’t yet seen in person. I have much confidence that my perfect record will remain intact. Thank God it’s not Pelfrey. Phew.
Also, I am totally bewildered but I want a camo Mets hat. Just ‘cos.