/unable to come up with a single pop-culture reference to Maine

God bless The Dugout.

And God bless our savior, Johnny Maine!

After a terrible most of June, the Mets ended the month nicely, winning three out of four against the Phillies. That loss came on July 1st, and I guess the Mets thought it wise to start off July in the same manner as June, because they promptly went to Colorado and lost three straight games by a combined score of 174-2. David Wright seemed to be the only Met who could hit anything, as everyone else maybe experienced some kind of Rocky Mountain “High” perhaps. Didn’t help matters that the starting rotation was either hurt (Ollie, Sosa), old (Glavine, El Duque), or gathered up off street corners (Pelfrey, Jason Vargas).

Enter John Maine. Despite a shaky May (and even then, he wasn’t getting any run support), Maine has been the one true rock in the rotation, the undisputed ace of the Mets pitching staff. It’s gotten to the point where you know, with Maine on the mound, the Mets have a better than usual chance at a W. Ollie, oh, he’s inconsistent (“every other Ollie,” as a friend put it). Glav and Duque are, well, OLD, and their softy crafty arms are liable to fall off when squaring off against big bats. Sosa can self-destruct at any moment. But not our Johnny. As long as the Mets can hit, Johnny will keep them in the game.

And he’s not going to the All-Star Game. Pfffft, I say to that. For all the hub-bub about fans not knowing how to vote, how about sticking it to the players too? Enjoy hitting against Ben Sheets and Cole Hamels and Roy Oswalt (?!), guys. You’ll probably have a better time than you would if Maine were up there.

So. Now it’s time for this:

HELLLOOOOOOOOOO JOHN MAINE.

Yeah you’re kinda dorky-looking perhaps, and when you bat you look like a stork or flamingo or some such lanky standing bird, but WHO CARES when you can pitch like that and put me at ease when just about everything on the team is going haywire.

(I don’t want to talk about Gomez being hurt. Guh.)

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One Response to /unable to come up with a single pop-culture reference to Maine

  1. Zoe says:

    Oh, I think Maine’s adorable. Love the lopsided smile!

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