Seriously I hope the music person at Dodger Stadium was on the ball (ahem) last night. Or at least played “Loretta” by the Nervous Eaters. Or, in honor of the game-winning hit, “Fist City” by Loretta Lynn. And I know I broke up with the Dodgers a decade ago, but this was just an amazing end to a game I wasn’t paying attention to at all until I saw the score in the eighth inning at the gym.

Ho hum series tied WAIT WHAAAAAAAAT

Since about June or so I’ve forgotten how wonderful baseball can be. Amazing how that realization is easy to come by when you’re watching two good teams battling it out.

Despite my defection (you can’t spell it without “defect”) to the Mets, as a native Los Angeleno I am hoping for a Freeway Series. In which case I’ll be rooting for the Angels, because I haven’t forgiven the Dodgers that much.

Otherwise, let’s go Twins and Rockies.

ETA: I didn’t hear this, but apparently Vin Scully said, “Matt Holliday is the loneliest man in all of Los Angeles as 51000 echo to the sky.” I miss that man.

Go over to Brooklyn Met Fan if you don’t already (what the hell is wrong with you?!) and vote for “The Hottest Met 2009.” I voted Murphy, even though it’s probably David Wright. Santana at #3, bringing up the rear. GET IT?

What an image…brb.

Did you guys know I’m a terrible blogger? Whoops now you know! It has been a while, and the following shit has happened:

a) everybody got hurt
b) you mean I have to cheer for that smirky French bastard now? Godspeed, Churchy.
c) who the fuck is Angel Berroa?
d) Daniel Murphy turned into a legit first baseman, too bad his bat can’t catch up to his defense (uhhhhh did you think we’d say that back in April?)
e) I would like to propose a television show called The Days of Our Mets or As The Mets Turn or something, is Susan Lucci available?

But hey, the Mets have won four in a row now, only 5.5 back in the Wild Card, sure ok. If Beltran and Reyes and Delgado come back before the season is over I will do five cartwheels in a row, you have my word.

The real reason for this post however is this:

Tuesday, during a Citi Field press conference, Mets players Daniel Murphy, Bobby Parnell, J.J. Putz, Omir Santos and Gary Sheffield unveiled The Players Choice Signature Series featuring jerseys, T-shirts and caps they designed exclusively for their fans, with each product expressing the personalities and attitudes of the individual players who designed them.

Oh FUN, let’s have a looksee at these fashions by athletes, because that is always a good idea!

Design By: John Maine
What It Expresses: I think I’m really edgy and cool but in reality I’m a huge fucking dork

Design By: Omir Santos
What It Expresses: You hit one game-winning homer off Jonathan Papelbon and it makes you think you’re Perkunas.

Design By: Bobby Parnell
What It Expresses: I have no imagination, how about an ax for no good reason? Cool.

Design By: Daniel Murphy
What It Expresses: I have no discernible personality, but I AM Irish, so…wooooo Dropkick Murphys pint o’Guinness Shane MacGowan potatoes!

Design By: Gary Sheffield
What It Expresses: I am probably on drugs, and now so are you.

Design By: J.J. Put
What It Expresses: I enjoy the oeuvre of Toby Keith.

And finally, Smear The Queer is proud to offer the limited edition design by David Wright:

I’ve always thought that Oliver Perez and John Maine were two sides of the same coin, the difference being that Perez’s side is the one that usually lands facedown in shit. Both have always seemed to be in the throes of dominance before something goes spectacularly awry in one inning–walks, errors, bloop or broken-bat hits. Such was the case tonight in the second inning of the Mets’ 6-4 win in Atlanta, only making it all the more frustrating (probably to Maine the most) that he only allowed one other hit in any other inning. Which draws a major line between Perez and Maine, and why Maine will always be more of a fan favorite than his currently bullpen-residing (why is this a good idea? No really, I would like to know, since I see NO REASON for it) left-handed ADD counterpart: Maine tries to fight through his struggles, whereas Perez just throws up his hands and quits. Times like tonight’s second inning make Maine incredibly frustrating, but the fact that he shows a bit of bulldog on the mound when things don’t go his way (much like his good buddy Mike Pelfrey has shown) is commendable, especially compared with Perez, sitting out there with a group of pitchers who actually know how to get people out in a tight spot. I hope he takes notes.

Speaking of the bullpen, I’ve delayed making this proclamation because I wasn’t sure if it would take, but: Bobby Parnell, I love you. You fill the naive-country-boy-in-the-bullpen void that was created when Joe Smith was traded. Except with less personality, but who cares when he’s shown remarkable poise and great velocity and movement on his pitches. Walking the leadoff man in the seventh inning was not so good, but he came back to get the very next batter to hit into a double play. Very Joe Smith-like. I think his performances out of the pen have gone unnoticed because of JJ Putz and Frankie Rodriguez, but I would even put him above Putz as far as pitchers I feel comfortable seeing coming out of the bullpen. He has quietly been a dependable workhorse, and I think is by far our best bridge to the Putz-Rodriguez closeout.

Back-to-back two run homers by Carlos Beltran and David Wright (Beltran included another two-run shot an inning later) were pretty nice too, especially considering I thought Javier Vasquez was about to throw a no-hitter. A nice birthday present, even if it was a day late. I’ll take it.

Dear Brian,

Hey, how’s the back? You know, you shouldn’t try to rush things. Just make sure you have plenty of rest. Oh, and don’t you have a new baby? I’m sure you want to spend a lot of time with him, and help out your wife with feedings and changings. I mean, your wife has a kid and then you jaunt all over the country playing baseball?! Ludicrous! Little Kalin (uh, nice name) will benefit from having both mom and dad around.

Oh, and can you tell Ramon that it’s been nice knowing him?

xoxox,

Stan: Is Oliver Perez’s weight symbolic of his attitude after signing a fat three-year, $36 million contract? Will John Maine be the pitcher we remember from before his shoulder injury last year? Is this the year Mike Pelfrey matures?
STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS JULIA STILES
me: where is this
Stan: the damn wall street journal
me: lol
Stan: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123992851955927591.html
Julia Stiles is an actress and a Mets fan living in New York. She blogs at www.juliastilesblog.com
me: oh good
Stan: she’ll be like your alyssa milano
me: SHE IS NOT HAVING SEX WITH BOBBY PARNELL ON MY WATCH
Stan: i don’t think bobby parnell is her stile

It’s gonna take a while before I stop calling it “Shea,” which I did at least three times today. But thanks to the graciousness of Coop, I got to go to my first game at Citi Field, and thankfully, see the first ever Mets win at the new ballpark. A solid outing from Oliver Perez who, despite Coop’s and my repeated shouts of “Don’t do it Ollie!” decided to show off his good side tonight. Which basically means he’ll be terrible next time out. And that wacky inning where Castillo and Reyes scored on wild pitches and errors was pretty thrilling even if I could not believe what exactly had happened.

And I got to experience my first home run by a Met in Citi Field as well, when Carlos Delgado went yard. I say “experience” and not “see,” because it was at this exact moment some Eurotrash young’uns decided they needed to leave the ballpark, blocking our view. Coop and I were able to laugh it off by being xenophobic and making jokes at their expense in some kind of Slavic accent. “Vy do zey call eet a humron? Vat eef I vanto valk hum?” You had to be there, I guess. Always a good un-PC time with the Coop.

It’s gonna take some time before this place feels like home. It’s lovely and sometimes breathtaking, but it feels so sterile and pristine that it almost makes me feel bad for being drunk and vulgar, like I’m yelling in a museum. I imagine it’s going to take a few dozen games before I know where everything is, but at least I know that Shake Shack (line was too long, boo) and Box Frites (yum!) are right next to each other.

The view from Coop’s seats in the Promenade. I don’t remember ever feeling so ON TOP of the field at Shea; here it felt like almost a completely vertical downward view whereas Shea’s views seemed a bit more expansive and theatrical. I kept feeling like I was missing some of the action, and constantly had to reorient where the scoreboards were. I don’t think I will master this until I’ve been here a few times.

I bought a Daniel Murphy shirt in medium because that was the smallest size they had THANKS A LOT YOU GUYS, which prompted a new meme (see: MARLON I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!, haha THAT’S a little out of date now, eh?) whenever he came up to bat: “C’mon Murph! I’m wearing your shirt!”

Takin’ care of business. How I’ve missed hearing that (you know what I didn’t miss though? SWEET FUCKING CAROLINE, which everyone booed, with good reason).

I was, let’s say, not exactly 100% enthused with Livan Hernandez being another one of Omar Minaya’s old timer reclamation projects, winning the fifth starting spot basically by default, and highlighting the thought, “So we fixed the bullpen…but, uh, the rotation? SHEESH.”

Not that I think he’ll consistently give us 6.2 innings of 2-run ball, but if he does anything even close to comparable in the majority of his starts then I think I’ll be pretty happy to see him get the ball every fifth game. 1st and 3rd with no outs? No problem, says Livan, helped by the Mets defense (including a highlight reel inning-ending unassisted double play by David Wright). It was a nice to see a real professional on the mound last night; in the same circumstances, you can look at certain other pitchers in our rotation *ahem Ollie ahem* and envision a scenario wherein they, instead of barreling down and getting the out, spontaneously burst into flames instead.

Remember how we were all “ZOMG we have a real bullpen now!”? Haha, OOPS. But at least the Mets were hitting last night, the charge led by…Luis Castillo? Zuh?! Luis Castillo, armed with a pre-game talk with Jerry Manuel and the possible realization of “ho shit the home opener is soon, please don’t boo me,” got four hits and scored the first two runs of the game, the second on Jose Reyes’ first homer of the season. Pretty good start to the campaign, Luis. Hey Jerry, maybe talk to David Wright now?

Another hitter campaigning very loudly is Ryan Church, hitting two doubles last night and currently batting .526. You think he wants to be sat in favor of Sheffield on Wednesday, as is the plan? No, he does not. And considering that’s the game I’ll be attending (thanks, Coop!), I don’t want to see that happen either. Please don’t let that happen. I want to cheer on Church, thanks.

I may have said that when this happened.

Also: “God, he’s so cute,” exclaimed Corey. Yes. Though I’m glad he deferred to Beltran on that fly to center. Get away from there, Murph! Not your territory, boyfriend.

Thanks to Matt Cerrone of Metsblog.com for hosting the Opening Day shindig.