if i were the post i’d be all “HOW SWEEP IT IS” but i’m not, thankfully

Let us raise our hands and rejoice in winning three games in a row!

Well that was fun. After not being able to hit a goddam thing all month, the Mets won two blowouts this weekend, with a sweet little pitching duel sandwiched in the middle. On Friday I went to this and met a lot of Deadspin commenters who had no idea who the fuck I was, but they were pretty nice about it (Stan got me a ticket). These guys were a hoot, and also I found out we used to work together. Imagine that. Tommy Glavine got win no. 296, and also managed to hit better than David Wright. Hey, maybe we can get Tommy to DH next time there’s an interleague game on the road. Next year (thank God).

Saturday I managed to be late to one of the, um, hippest parties/performances/hootenannies/thingamajigs I’ve ever attended because I was listening to the game on WFAN. I was treated with a lovely play-by-play of Lo Duca’s meltdown, and then a wonderful mental image of Ramon Castro huffing-and-puffing on David Wright’s double to score the only run of the game. The party, uh, was fun up until it wasn’t, and I may have acted a bit foolish, which is generally the case.

Sunday I went with Joe and his A’s-rootin’ friends to my first day game at Shea. Reyes’ double-that-turned-into-a-run basically set the tone for the entire game. It was just gonna be that kind of day. Johnny Maine was so dominant, and A’s pitcher Joe Kennedy was so ineffective, that the game basically became a laugher, and we all remarked how much we were zoning out. I did have a few palpitations when Scott Schoeneweis came out to pitch in the ninth. The following took place:

Steve: I would be surprised if Schoeneweis went 1-2-3.
me: Fuck, I’d be STUNNED. I’d strip naked on the field if that happened.
[Schoeneweis gets Chavez to ground out]
me [half-heartedly attempting ironic chant]: SCHO-ENE-WEIS! SCHO-ENE-WEIS! [looks around] No? Okay.
[Schoeneweis gets Ellis to fly out]
me [thinking]: Holy shit am I gonna have to get naked?
[Schoeneweis strikes out Cust]
me: [shrugs, begins to disrobe]

Okay that last part didn’t happen because there were CHILDREN there, children with Paul LoDuca bobbleheads, which I desperately wanted but they wouldn’t give them to grown-ups. I’m pretty childish, though, so I felt like I deserved one. And then I coulda made it go absolutely apeshit. With impeccably manicured eyebrows.

3 Responses to if i were the post i’d be all “HOW SWEEP IT IS” but i’m not, thankfully

  1. STUPID FUCKING KIDS. Let’s kick the shit out of them.

  2. Wait, were they girls? Cause that would RULE if we kicked the SHIT out of them.

  3. billyfabs says:

    they were girls, in fact. and that first game you were being berated/taunted by a group of girls. ah, young feminism.

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